Managing Big Emotions
Big Emotions
It is normal to feel big emotions, although at times our emotions can feel unmanageable and impact our daily functioning. Often when we feel big emotions we try to distract, ignore or push away our thoughts and feelings which can feel easier in the short-term. However, in the long-term it can bottle up our emotions which lead to reactive outbursts. Once this occurs it may feel though our emotions have taken over, we are often reactive and engage in behaviours that do not align with our values.
Emotion Regulation
Developing emotion regulation skills increases our ability to manage and react to experiences by calming the mind and body. By regulating our emotions we are able to think clearly, stay calm and gain power over our experiences. When our brain is thinking clearly, our thoughts and feelings are less overwhelming and we are ultimately able to act within our values and navigate situations, thoughts and feelings effectively.
Here are some strategies to help with big emotions.
1. Identify, acknowledge and observe emotions
Stopping what you are doing, observing your thoughts, feelings, behaviours and the situation allows our mind to slow down. Often times when we’re reactive, our mind is busy. Therefore, by stopping to identify and observe feelings, without judgement slows down our reactive process and allows us to respond in a healthy way. This may sound challenging, and it certainly is, however with more practice the easier it gets.
2. Deep Breathing
It may sound cliché but deep breathing is a powerful tool to calm the nervous system. Giving our brain oxygen helps us to think more clearly, which is particularly helpful when feeling big emotions. When feeling overwhelmed take deep belly breaths by inhaling through the nose, holding the breathe and then exhaling out the mouth. Pay attention to your breath, the sensations and feelings. Repeat the steps for several breaths cycles until you feel the effects.
3. Temperature
Cooling yourself down changes the body’s physiological chemistry. Often when we experience intense emotions our body’s stress response is activated leading to increased temperature, elevated heart rate and muscle tension. Cooling techniques can counteract these physiological changes and promote a sense of calm. Cooling yourself down can be done through cold showers, splashing your face with water, holding ice cubes, drinking a cold glass of water or an ocean swim. Be mindful of medical conditions when using temperature-based techniques. Consult with a healthcare professional before trying techniques or if you have any concerns.
4. Exercise and diet
The mind and body have a large correlation, therefore stabilising the core foundations and taking care of your physical health is important. Nourishing your body to give your mind the best possible chance of feeling calm. Additionally, exercise is a great tool for regulation, particularly when we’re feeling overwhelmed with emotions. Intense, quick outburst of exercise allows us to release built up emotions in a healthy way.
5. Grounding through the 5 senses
Noticing the world around you to increase present awareness, bringing you back into the here and now. Often when we have big emotions, our minds are racing, so yet again, we want to slow the thoughts down and anchor yourself into the present moment. Noticing things that you can see, smell, taste, feel and hear is a way of grounding ourselves. You can also be creative and experiment with different sensory experiences to find what is calming for you. Make it yours, adjust as needed and access this tool at any given time to promote present awareness.
Seeking Support
It is important to reach out for support from friends or family to express your experiences. Expressing your emotions is a form of regulating, whether that’s to a trusted person or through journaling. If you feel as though your emotions are unmanageable, taking over and impacting your daily functioning. Don’t hesitate to seek professional mental health support.
Written By: Cassandra Svircevic - Clinical Psychologist Registrar